Adult Content Creation Is... Boosting My Body Image?

At my age, I've taken and sent more nudes to more people than I can count. It's always been a quick, gratuitous exchange for me. Feel horny, snap a photo, remove metadata (important!), hit send, and get the desired sexual attention.

Taking nudes and lewds for adult content creation, though, is decidedly more involved. Since my goal is to make money, I'm taking a lot more photos per shoot. I'm also putting more thought into what I'm wearing (if I'm wearing anything at all), the lighting, the backdrop, the props, and the poses. I also curate much more heavily. After taking 100+ photos, I may only get 10 or 20 that I actually like.

And then there's the editing, which is arguably my favorite part. Am I going for a soft pink romantic vibe? A dramatic, stark contrast black and white noir look? Do I want to add a lot of grain for a vintage effect, or perhaps an ethereal glow? Or do I want something else altogether? What am I using these photos for? How many photosets can I get out of one shoot? How many photos would work for my listing covers? Which photos look more kinky submissive, and which photos look more "girl next door"? These are all questions I think about when I'm curating my photos.

Throughout this exciting, creative process, I end up having to stare at images of my own naked (or scantily clad) body a lot. It's a necessary part of the job. I look at each photo closely to remove identifiable elements, such as tattoos, birthmarks, and unique background objects. I test out different lighting options to see what works best for each shoot, and I try to blur the background as well as I can to make each photo look as neat and clean as possible.

In the process of curating the photos I want to use—whether it's to sell to customers, to post on a feed for promo, to use as a listing cover, or even for this very blog—I am actively deciding to myself which photos look good. And in making that decision, there is almost a subliminal message I'm sending to myself that I look hot in these photos, and that is why I am going to sell them/use them for promo/etc.

Am I making too much out of this? Maybe. But whenever I scroll through my NSFW gallery looking for the next photo to post on my feed or to use as content somewhere, I notice myself thinking things like, "My ass looks great here," or "I love my expression in this pic," or "This one's my favorite." And because I am constantly working on more content creation, these thoughts have become a regular part of my weekly routine. What's that thing they say about forming a habit? That it takes a certain number of days before it becomes second nature? Well, what if that could apply to body image too?

There is no silver bullet to solving your body image issues—at least, not for me. I'm writing this post during a week where I haven't been feeling so good about my body. But I needed to make more content, so I put on a bodysuit that I love and took a bunch of pics. And upon editing them, there were definitely ones that made me go, "Ugh, no" (because I am imperfect and do not know how to love my body from every angle... yet, anyway). But there were also ones that made me think, "Okay, this is hot as hell." And we have to celebrate the wins when they come, right? Well, that's my win for today and for this week: sometimes you just gotta put on the lingerie and force yourself to feel hot again.